Posted on October 23, 2016

Haunt Review: The Valley of Fear


Web Address:

Location: Feasterville, PA (Bucks County)

Valley of Fear is frightfully fun for the whole family.

The Nuts and Bolts:

Valley of Fear offers four haunted attractions: Haunted Hayride, Underworld, Facility, and Zombie Paintball. The prices are reasonable, but are weighted based on heavier dates of attendance. For example if you attend on one of the lighter days (designated on their website) the price is cheaper. You can choose if you want to attend all four attractions or just one or two. I suggest the super fear pass as it includes all four attractions for only $33-$39. I did not upgrade to the fast fear pass as I was smart and attended the attraction on a Sunday right as the doors opened which afforded me pretty quick lines.

There’s no touching at this haunt, though they do get up close and personal on occasion. This attraction is appropriate for most ages (pre-teen and up). It was noted that there were several younger actors also participating in the haunt. Parking was a nominal fee of $5. You don’t have to pack too much money as the haunt does not have a gift shop, but it does have a small concession stand with basic snacks.


The Attraction:

I should preface this by saying that on the night I attended Valley of Fear, they were having a special clown take over night. So…I can’t speak for how this night might compare to a “normal” night. Every event was littered with clowns in every nook and cranny. They took this so seriously that even some of the sets were tailored toward creepy clowns.

My night started out with the Haunted Hayride, where I was met by an old curmudgeon trying to usher me on to the hayride against my will. Let me explain…the hayride is on a flatbed trailer and the majority of the riders sit on the edge facing outward with their legs hanging off (how cool is this) while a few will be situated in the middle. There are benefits to both positions, but I wanted to get the full experience since this really sets this hayride apart from others: you will literally come face-to-face with your tormentors. I would have been one of the last to board the hayride and I politely asked to wait for the next hayride so I could sit on the outside of the ride. This older gentleman (who seemed as if his job was a nuisance) was adamant that my party of two go on the current hayride then barked a few curt, rude exchanges at me. Upon refusing to be treated any differently than the other patrons who were allowed to wait for the next trailer, I simply stood my ground. Nonetheless, I was determined not to let this ruin my night, and it didn’t. The hayride was quite worthwhile; I loved being able to face outward and meet the gaze of the actors. This tactic added an extra element of fear by taking away the safety of the guard rails and by forcing your gaze toward the many haunts lurking in the distance.

The Facility is a dark and disorienting maze. One of the shorter attractions of the four, this one stood out for its overt manipulation of the senses. Here the actors really utilize the dark crevices and corners to their advantage. At one point the actor was so close to me, I could feel him breathe in the crook of my neck which was magnified by my inability to see anything. From here, I moved into The Underworld (Haunted Forest Walk) which I enjoyed. Here in The Underworld, I was met by staff who completely countered my interactions with the cantankerous hayride man. The woman who met us at the gate of The Underworld was peppy and funny. As she reviewed the rules, she reminded us there was no smoking, cursing, touching the actors, or any twerking. So immediately, my uncoordinated white girl butt felt compelled to awkwardly twerk, but I maintained my composure (for once). I won’t give away any spoilers here, but I was especially pleased when I started this walk at a set of doors that reminded me of a scene in the film Labyrinth (1986). What happens next, you will have to see for yourselves but put your walking shoes on as you will get your money’s worth from this haunted forest walk!

Operation Z (Zombie Paintball) was a good time. You are led through the forest by a guide who escorts you to several platforms throughout the dark wooded abyss. At each platform, there are pre-loaded guns affixed to the railing where you have allotted time frame to save yourselves from the foreboding dangers. You learn a lot about the people around you when you are armed and faced with a threat. I learned that my haunt homie, Michelle, missed her calling as a sniper. At that moment, as my gun clicked with the sound of an empty chamber and a large undead mass was trudging toward us, I don’t know if I was more freaked out by him or the fact that Michelle peeled off head shot after head shot with frightening accuracy. I was proud of my occasional crotch shot until I saw her uncanny ability. Apparently when faced with danger, my friend will rise to the occasion while I will only aim for the cheap shot and giggle.

Of Special Note:

I really enjoyed that this haunt has different specialty nights such as clown night and 80s icon night. I also appreciated the talent of some of these actors, I especially wanted to note the fire breathing, body contortions, and acrobatics that I saw while on the hayride. You can tell that this haunt tries to always keep things fresh with the way they shake up the background.


Helpful Hints:

  • Make note of the directions on the website. It gives specific instructions at the bottom of the directions tab for those who are using GPS so that no one gets lost.
  • I would start your night with the Hayride and then continue from there as the hayride seems to be the biggest draw.
  • The zombie paintball tickets have assigned times on the tickets. On my night, it was not super busy, so they were super accommodating about me being late for my time slot. I couldn’t bear to sit around waiting for my paintball time, so I did everything else first, and I am glad I did.
  • On a different note, this haunt uses a pretty large amount of fog machines, especially in The Facility so if you have asthma please come prepared.


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