James Staynings
When my partner joked on our car ride home from the cinema about how Curry Barker’s Obsession (2026) is a metaphor for the patriarchy, the statement became a… fascination.
We stumbled and analysed our way through the woods on a Bear hunt. We read, listened and discussed others’ observations. I noticed something in much of the discussion around the ironically named protagonist who evokes the 2024 TikTok Phenomenon. Being so focused on the bear, what about the man-made willow forest that’s made the predator deadly?
There’s plenty of valid discussion of Obsession as a new entry in the category of “incel horror.” There are valid points of comparison with Bear and the insecure male protagonists of films like Passengers, Ex Machina, Don’t Worry, Darling and Bugonia. A lonely, flawed, insecure male protagonist takes a female character/s autonomy.
But problematically, this limits the discussion of various misogynist aspects of the film’s roots. Barker claims that he was unfamiliar with the word “incel”. Bear isn’t hostile, resentful, and he doesn’t explicitly blame Nikki or women generally for his isolation/loneliness. However, I agree with Jered Mabaquiao’s recent Horror Homeroom essay about Obsession, which argues that Bear acts entitled and that “simply shy or socially awkward flattens his destructive tendencies.”
It’s important to note that Bear’s fixation and objectification of Nikki isn’t strictly sexual. Rather, what Bear describes in his red flag-littered opening monologue is a “perfect storm” of traumatic effects that fit Dorothy Tennov’s 1979 term “limerence,” a state of involuntary obsession that appears like a romantic crush. The term is complicated, and to the poetic might seem like Petrarchan love. Its involuntary nature, spurring intrusive thoughts and unhealthy, addictive fixation, creates an emotional dependency on the object of this fantastical desire – in this case, Nikki.
Nikki shows Bear attention, kindness and support at moments of trauma, often ones she isn’t aware of, like when his cat Sandy dies. It isn’t love. Rather, it fits the description of an anxious, avoidant attachment style, which appears like incel-like behaviour. Avoidance of intimacy, issues of commitment, guarded and closed off, a fear of rejection, and low self-esteem. Yet a lack of control doesn’t erase his choices.
To quote Associate Professor Sam Shpall,“Art and popular music routinely frame persistence as virtue… In reality, persistence against stated boundaries is a reliable marker of harm. Limerence doesn’t excuse it.”
Bear: The paradox of patriarchy
Bear and Nikki
Bear starts Obsession as a victim of his emotions and trauma, unaware and without the vocabulary to distinguish or acknowledge his limerence. Yet he’s also a societal victim in the sense that he, as a man, also suffers under patriarchy. His limerence and poor mental health make him unable to live up to masculine social expectations of relationships with women, whilst also suffering the male issue of being unable to communicate his feelings.
Let’s finally talk about his first name: Baron. The lowest rank of nobility, but it can also contrastingly mean the holder of a monopoly. The patriarchal paradox: male feelings of inadequacy and powerlessness often result in women suffering.
Whether you believe the “crisis of masculinity”/male loneliness to be an ethereal ghost or an excuse for poor male behaviour, male struggles impact women. If Amanda Palmer’s declaration of “when men suffer, women suffer” is void, then, social scientist Richard Reeves’s truism, “a world of floundering men is unlikely to be a world of flourishing women,” highlights the unavoidable correlation.
Even if Bear makes the wish in a moment of weakness, the irony of the patriarchal power is that even “weak” men still have inherent power. To quote Emma Watson’s HeforShe speech: “If men don’t have to control, women won’t have to be controlled.”
Ian: Every man for himself
The irony of Obsession‘s opening monologue, of Bear’s feelings of isolation, or the later suggestion when he’s alone with Nikki that he’s a closed book emotionally, are all undermined by the fact that he’s expressing his feelings to his best male friend and a waitress.
Bear, Nikki and Ian
When Bear cannot recognise that his feeling of “I’m falling apart” is an unhealthy and self-harming idea, Ian further diminishes his feelings as cringe. Either out of ignorance, selfishness or his own complicated uncertainty of how he feels about Nikki, Ian can’t or won’t see beyond the traditionally masculine approach: dismiss the serious with a joke.
Ian’s repeated interruptions of Bear’s attempts to really talk to Nikki during trivia night reflects his concern with maintaining a good time, not his friend’s suffering. Ian subscribes to the patriarchal “every man for himself” philosophy. When given the chance to free Nikki with a One Wish Willow, Ian chooses one billion dollars.
Whereas Ian thinks Bear is taking advantage of Nikki, Sarah views their relationship oppositely.
Sarah: Women against women
Since she revealed to Nikki her crush on Bear, it would be logical to think that Sarah’s perspective is solely clouded by betrayal. Sarah shares with Bear the belief that Nikki is exploiting and manipulating Bear, implying a sense of malice on Nikki’s part to hurt someone.
Does Sarah believe Nikki is trying to hurt Ian or her? To think either implies that Sarah believes Nikki is willing and capable of such manipulation. Even before the party scene, in which Nikki comes to see Sarah as a threat, the reverse is true. There’s a rivalry between them that’s more than about boys.
Sarah and Nikki are foils, each pursuing their artistic dreams. However, whereas Nikki is leaving of her own free will to pursue writing, Sarah is stuck waiting, getting rejected by art schools. Sarah is waiting to be chosen. Nikki, on the other hand, is the chosen one, including of both their male friends’ desires.
Consider the throwaway moment where Nikki takes Sarah’s money to give to a homeless man. It presents Nikki’s niceness/Bear’s overinflated admiration, but it comes at Sarah’s literal expense. And it happens before she gets in the car with the boy she has a crush on. From Sarah’s perspective, is Nikki playing the pick-up/not like the other girls trope? Patriarchy sees women competing against each other for male validation, blinding Sarah to Nikki’s suffering.
Nikki: The object
Bear and Nikki’s friends know something is wrong, but their own concerns and agendas leave Nikki objectified by all of them.
Bear, Nikki, Ian and Sarah
For Bear, Nikki is his Limerence Object, placed on a pedestal.
To Sarah, she is a rival in her crush on Bear. After seeing Nikki bash her own face in with a bottle, her next move is still to invite Bear to her car to confess her feelings, away from Nikki.
If we believe Sarah when she tells Bear about Ian and Nikki’s friends-with-benefits relationship, then we could infer that Ian views Nikki as a sexual conquest. If it’s a lie, his actions show the desire not to get involved. When Ian’s main intervention is to contact a hospital to check if Nikki’s dad has cancer, which, breakdown or not, lie or not, transgresses Nikki’s trust and right to privacy. Not wanting her at his party, regardless of their prior relationship, sends a clear message. Nikki isn’t Ian’s problem, but a nuisance who could ruin his good time.
Everyone but Nikki dies to some degree, a victim/victimiser/bystander within the patriarchy. The central object of desire/envy, the one stripped of her agency, is freed only to face/live with the consequences of Bear’s actions.
James Staynings is a dyslexic English teacher who now works in alternative education. Possessing more (some) free time means he can write what the voices tell him to write. He has published flash fiction with Flash Fiction North and Literally Stories, and he has regularly written weekly about people fighting in spandex for Last Word on Pro Wrestling, but more recently, Voices of Wrestling. This is his first time writing about his lifelong and life-directing passion for horror.
